One of my favorite things to do with femme friends is bond over fashion. The second is drank. So when my friendboss Caitlin suggested we get together to construct some patched denim over a bottle of wine, I was pretty giddy. She has since moved to Colorado like so many priced-out Californians and I miss her. So here are a couple of lewks in my custom denim vest, not only to reminisce but just because it’s been a minute since I’ve rocked it.
I think you can probably make a game of finding the Alien references.
In fact this whole piece is just lousy with pop-culture. But you know me. Could there be any other way?
One thing I love to do is wear this piece with a dress and really any kind will do–a maxi, a skater, you name it. But a jumpsuit is maybe the ultimate pairing, especially this shiny off-the-shoulder number.
I also took this opportunity to play with a new eyeshadow palette–the Little Twin Stars palette from Sugarpill. The shadows are so light and airy and were the perfect topping to my cotton-candy look.
Check out some of my favorite pins and patches here!
OK so here is how this is going to go down. I’m going to come in with the light-hearted stuff, the fawwwshun, the brand talk–then we’re going to get a little real, a littler vulnerable. This paragraph serves to ineloquently warn you right now but mostly hype myself up to talk about something super personal and scary. The less flowery my language, the more I can just power through and get it out there so here goes…
Menswear used to be a necessity for me, simply due to lack of options as talked about in my t-shirt post. Since the industry has evolved, I haven’t had much of a desire to go back. There are still some internalized issues I have to deal with around fit and flatter–the idea that looking bigger and boxier is “bad.” Seeing some fat femmes and butches fucking kill it with masculine fashion has really inspired me. And the first brand I thought of trying was Wildfang.
Their cuts and prints are very compelling and I love their racially-inclusive branding. But that inclusiveness does not deeply extend into size, something of which I was hopeful since at least one of their models was plus size. So I bought this shirt in the largest size possible. I was forced to add seven inches with some crude-ass side panels. This WAS kinda nicely nostalgic since it reminded me of days when I would say to brands FUCK YOU IM WEARING THIS by making shit happen with a needle and thread but it also reminded me how much more effort I as a person of size have to put into clothing and how it’s exponentially harder for people bigger than me and how that never stops sucking. Wildfang has the potential to be an amazing brand and I hope they are actively working to extend their sizes well, welllll beyond a small-ass 16.
A brand you can and should shop for all your butch needs in the meantime is Tunnel Vision.
I bought this tee in a 2x and it was wayyyyy too big for me, which I was actually pretty stoked about! I’m a smaller fat and should be near the bottom of the range, so fuck yes. They offer new and vintage styles, both in a wide range of sizes. This shirt was also ethically made in LA.
OK. So. Another source of inspiration for me dabbling with menswear is my son. Vince, at 5, is an avid sparkly-lover. He rocks pink glitter sneakers, a beaded bracelet, and a pearl necklace on the reg. He went as Rainbow Dash for Halloween and he loves to run around the house in his princess dresses. However, he never fights wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, loves his super short undercut, and has never ever expressed any frustration or unhappiness with his body.
Up until recently, I was almost expecting him to phase out femme things since I know it’s common for children of his age to try anything when given the chance. And giving him that chance was important to us. But the reality that this is likely a lasting thing has sunk in. And it happened at a Gymboree store.
While on vacay in Pismo last week, I asked Vince if he wanted to have dinner at the pinkest restaurant in the world. And duh, of course he did. So for our special date at the Madonna Inn Steakhouse, I said I would take him shopping for a fancy pink outfit to match. I was thinking a little suit or blazer with some jewelry and as I was putting a few options together, he beelined for this adorable fuschia shift.
I caught myself trying to talk him into the pink shirt and charcoal striped pants I picked out and I saw this…sadness well up in his eyes. It is different from the sadness that comes after I say “pick up your crayons” or “tablet time is over.” One thing I never have a problem with is telling my son “no.” I don’t have a problem with him experiencing sadness or anger or boredom because these are real human emotions we have to navigate. But there has to be a reason behind them. There has to be a lesson learned. “Boys can’t wear dresses” is a lesson I will never teach.
I don’t think I have ever felt equal levels of utter joy and absolute terror as I did that night. Here is my perfect baby, beaming, being his best and happiest self…
And I’m on the highest alert. I am silently pre-hating every single person in this goddamn restaurant until they flash Vince a smile or at the very least make it clear that they will be fucking chill. If my aura had a voice that night it would be EVERYBODY JUST FUCKING BE COOL. And I’m doing this all while putting on my best no-fucks face for my boy. I ask my mom, my amazing fucking rockstar mom who did not bat a lash at her grandson rocking a dress at dinner, if I look scared or nervous and she assures me I don’t. And I can’t help but think of all the times I posted my nearly-nudes on Instagram, or all the times she watched me strut my fat ass on the runway, and how she never looked scared for me.
The thought of someone being unkind or harming your child just for being themselves is enough to knock you to your knees. We as a society still have lightyears to go when it comes to gender non-conform, especially for boys who have toxic masculinity peddled to them on a daily basis. I know my son will have struggles ahead, but it will pale in comparison to the pain he would endure if I encouraged him to hide who he is in the interest of safety. I got a glimpse of that pain as he held this pink dress in his hands, the suit in mine. I never want to see it again.
I’ve been known to talk a blue streak about the resourcefulness of plus size women when it comes to dressing their bodies. I’ve unpacked and picked apart the question “Did being fat make it easier for me to be punk or did being punk make it easier for me to be fat?” The lack of options I had growing up was a painful blessing. It forced me to cultivate style and identity with scraps. And because they come in a plethora of sizes, t-shirts quickly became my best friend.
When the plus size industry finally started catering to women under 40, I left my tees in the dust and replaced them with empire waists and camisoles and halters. But that was pretty short lived. You can’t cut up a halter or cami and instantly customize it to your two-inch-long torso. This is what makes t-shirt special. They are perfect for lazy people.
However, any time I don’t have to cut a tee into a crop is a special moment. And there is literally no tee in the world that fits me better than my Premme babes shirt. Please PLEASE for the love of god make more shirts in this cut and take my money pleece.
Ugh. Seriously.
This tee is an instant fave because, as you may recall, it is part of a co-ord set! The matching skirt is stunning but I love that I can wear this top with literally anything.
And the cats. I’ve also written about this cat shirt. Because diet culture is a pervasive bitch, I was horrified one morning to try on this top and have it no longer fit. Crushed. Double crushed to feel so affected by something so trivial. It’s just a shirt. And my body is fine. I threw the shirt in the trash.
Then I dug it out and slapped some side panels on it. When life throws you too-tight shirts, and you’re a resourceful fat bitch, you bust out your sewing machine.
First of all, hey there! It’s been a while and things have been happening. Most notably, I have gone back to work full time. After 14 months of working from home and freelance writing and styling, I suddenly realized wow I am really fucking lonely and I miss people.
Honestly, this was always the main struggle of freelancing. Aside from it being incredibly hard to find consistent part-time work, and for that work to be somewhat interesting, and always being broke, and self-starting being really fucking hard, and always feeling like you’re working too much and not enough at the same time (how?), loneliness really was the deal breaker for being a full-time blogger. And there’s not much way out when you live 400 miles away from Blogger Mecca. All the creatives in my neck of the woods have full-time jobs and not enough time to collab. It really does feel like swimming upstream and I am just not a good salmon. I’m more of an under-achieving guppy.
It’s cool though. My pride isn’t taking a hit because it is what it is. I gave it a good run and I’m glad I did. But I need people. Ignoring that and continuing on would only come back to bite me in the ass sooner or later and in a big way. There are things to push through and there are things to which you surrender. This is the latter.
Second, now that I have an marketing job again, all the clothes I have hoarded over this last year actually feel like they have a purpose now. I am back in the world and I have brought my Megawardrobe with me. However, I did realize that working from home had brought my FUCKIT levels to critical mass and I would need some staples that toned things down a notch without completely spaying this alley cat. Enter leather gaucho pants.
For my first styling, I wanted to go with a more casual top to show juxtaposition. These pants have some serious range. A plaid blouse that looks grungie with jeans is instantly elevated while still emitting a comfy vibe.
Next, I wanted to go a little glam with this Premme sweater and it’s faux fur accents. I’m in love with the mock turtleneck but it’s the colors of this piece that clicked “add to cart.”
I love that this look is so goddamned winter without camel and bordeaux. I cannot and will not stop being colorful. Nope.
Last, I was long overdue for a monochrome look. I felt like I was really getting one over with this low-key leather mama look. My Universal Standard tee literally goes with everything but this is a perfect paring if I must say. And of course, I can’t do monochrome without a pop of print so my leopard sneaks make a cameo for the millionth time.
Where there is a will to wear sparkly shit on the reg, there is a way. Elvi recently reached out to me and asked me to give some pieces from their holiday collection a try and they are so gorgeous, I seriously had trouble choosing.
Besides an obvious weakness for shimmer and shine, I also can hardly resist a unique silhouette. I really do love a slouchy shirt but the color and accents of this one made it a must.
It’s not often that a piece of clothing feels special on this level. I also mean that literally. Wearing this felt like rolling around in satin sheets.
I also love this piece because it’s another “fuck flattering” style. Sometimes I trade feeling like an hourglass for feeling like a badass. Thin women are allowed to do this all the time. So can we!
Instead of going all out and showing you how I plan to rock this fit on NYE, I wanted to see just how much mileage I could get out of it with a chambray shirt. Turns out, plenty!
And it just happened to be by luck that I had shoes to perfectly match. I love when that happens.
My best friend never goes to bed on time. It’s amazing that we are still friends. I, on the other hand, love sleep more than life. There are times I am sleepy and it’s approaching that time to go to bed and then there are times when I need to go to bed rightthefucknow and if you keep talking to me I might just cry hysterically like a literal baby. Is this why I am so here for the daytime pajamas look?
Rounded collars, satiny fabrics, robe-like dresses. Loving it. It’s like the sophisticated big sister of the “woke up like this” messy bun and yoga pants look.
I should also just say that I never wear anything this fancy to bed but now I am seriously considering it. These luxurious fabrics are the comfiest. Not like I need any help getting to sleep but whatever.
And now it’s time for some Premme! I have always wanted to show up on someone’s doorstep wearing nothing but lingerie under a trench coat ala Robin Givens in Boomerang but wearing that in my backyard with Laurel Dickman was as close to that as I’ll get for now.
Feeling this fabric on bare skin really is a sensual experience. Not as much as seeing this pictures come out but yaknow.
So remember this video where I promised you that I would style this piece as a coat as well? I do!
In my Babes shirt, no less. Premme needs to make more crop tees because I basically live in this bitch just because it fits PERFECTLY. It’s everything I want in a crop top. Except for the neck, which I cut.
Anyhoo. I am short. And while I didn’t mind the length of this piece as a dress, I am kinda not feeling it as a coat. Maybe with a skirt? Still comfy though!
And is this my color or hhhuwhat? ‘Tis. (Photo credit: Laurel Dickman)
Shopping Linkies:
Contrast Pajama Top | Eloquii High Rise Wide Leg Denim Pant | Eloquii Sol Satin Dress | Premme Babes Crop Tee | Premme
**Please support the links that support this blog!
So here’s the thing about pleats–they are perhaps the only thing that gets better when smaller. There is just something so special about this micro pleats trend. So when Premme busted out their second collection with a couple of micro pleated pieces, I jumped all up on them. And when I saw one of those pieces was a second version of my favorite striped jumpsuit…
I love how micro pleats trend is in no way combined to skirts. There are a plethora of ways to try this out for yourself! Here are some of my favorite pieces you can score online right meow:
Fall is finally here (sometimes even for minutes at a time) and I can’t wait to cover my life in camel and my lips in bordeaux. Most of all, I am DYING to wear velvet like every damn day. Let me kick it off with this gorgeous gold skirt. You can grab it from Fashion Nova at a discount with code MAMAFIERCE.
What I love about velvet is the myriad ways you can dress it up or down. I’m all about a mix of glam and punk and this piece looks killer with a graphic tee and leopard sneakers. I got this APT tee from Burger and Friends.
Notice I’ve got a little bra peeking out and it is ALSO maroon. It’s all about the little deets.
As I mentioned, I already have TONS of velvet but it’s just never enough yaknow? So here is my velvet wishlist for fall chock full of velvet plus size pieces you just might die over. Sorry in advance.
You’ve probably already heard of my obsession with Cat & Jack and how I’m thinking of hounding and harassing them into making adult plus sizes. Until then, this jacket should hold me over.
I’ve recently rejoined the world of the office worker (part-time copywriting) and of course, I found my closet bereft of respectable clothes and had to go shopping post haste. Pencil shirts and crop tops used to be my 9-5 jam but I find myself going a lil’ more retro lately. Ruffles and pinafores are back for their fall spotlight and while I normally hate them, they are terribly cute with circle skirts–just like this dreamy camel skirt with an even dreamier lining…which you can’t even see! Rude.
So BLOOP, here it is.
I admit, it looks off. Bit at least it’s interesting! I’m all for trying things backwards and inside out should the mood strike. Sometimes you end up with happy accidents, like when I wore THIS SKIRT backwards and it looked amazing.
Also, these fucking spotted green velvet booties are giving me so much life rn. I really was in dire need of a fall boot and fully plan on rocking these with some boyfriend jeans in the soon time.
One thing about me–I am a recovering jewelry addict. I used to work in fashion jewelry and owned a bib necklace and cuff bracelet for every occasion. Gaudy doesn’t begin to describe my accessory collection of years’ past. However, when plus size clothing options gradually improved, I was able to put the big baubles down and create some real looks. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t legit giddy over Universal Standard’s jewelry collection.
Rings are usually always a pain for me. Literally. Stretch cocktail rings are uncomfortable AF and I don’t want to shell out a lot of money on sized ones. So I absolutely love this stackable tile ring and how it pairs with this sleek pendant.
This quality tee is also from US and it is as so incredibly soft yet sturdy. As part of a capsule collection, it will give me plenty of mileage as it pairs casually with jeans or makes statement pieces for accessible, like these PANTS OMG RIGHT?
They are actually half of a jumpsuit I loved but always had issues with the top so *snip snip boom*, new pants are born. I have partied in them, slept in them, then gotten up and brunched in them. They are life.
Second, now that I have an marketing job again, all the clothes I have hoarded over this last year actually feel like they have a purpose now. I am back in the world and I have brought my Megawardrobe with me. However, I did realize that working from home had brought my FUCKIT levels to critical mass and I would need some staples that toned things down a notch without completely spaying this alley cat. Enter leather gaucho pants.
