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Plus size overalls

As you probably already know, I’m a mom to a preschooler. As such, looking uhmyaaahzing every damn day is just not feasible. My life can be so scheduled OR I can be tired to the point of tears and either way, hair, makeup, and wardrobe are going to give in these trying moments.

I always envied people who had a healthy dose of basics in their wardrobe because I always struggled to dress myself on more casual occasions. However, this tendency to fill my closet with statements has actually made for a weekend wardrobe that doesn’t leave me bored and depressed. It’s awesome.

My mom uniform is a basic formula that I think all fashion-conscious moms could follow and make their own. So if you happen to be shopping for such a person, please consider the following pieces, hand picked by yours truly!

Statement Sneakers

Comfort meets style. Big Plus: You can literally jump into them when you realize you are about to be late picking up your little one from daycare.

Sole Diva Denim Patch Flats

denim sneakers

Patches are great. Patches that you don’t have to glue on yourself are AWESOME.

Sole Diva Knot Slip Ons

knot sneakers

Black leather sneakers are a must but these just up the ante.

Tassel Sneakers

tassel sneakers

Sneakers with a pointed toe are also just a touch extra and make any pair of jeans look a bit more sophisticated.

Quilted Sneakers

quilted sneakers

There’s that millennial pink again. Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

Franco Sarto Mony SneakerΒ 

leopard sneakers

I’ve rocked a leopard sneaker with far fancier outfits but I feel like they literally go with everything.

Ankle Jeans

No need to worry about hemlines matching heels with ankle grazers. I also find choosing a jean with some added visual interest is perfect for my arsenal of plain tees.

Distressed Patch Boyfriend Jeans

dark patch jeans

From slightly distressed…

Repaired Boyfriend Jeans

repaired jeans

…to grungetastic.

Sequin Inset Jeans

sequin jeans

It’s just a wee bit of bling. Who’s it gonna hurt?

Velvet Stripe Jeans

velvet stripe jeans

And yes, I found a way to stuff velvet onto this list. I’m that good.

Bib Necklaces

Trust me, literally any plain tee or sweater looks amazing with a big necklace. You will suddenly look like you have your life together and not as if your dinner was handfuls of Lucky Charms eaten over the kitchen sink. Which it was. #noragrets

Tassel Necklace

tassel necklace

While colorful tassels could clash with whatever else you have going on, this piece is sure to blend in while making a statement on its own.

Bar Necklace

Bar Necklace

A touch of edge without getting in your way.

Boho Bib Necklace

boho necklace

Once again, a bit of sparkle. OK it’s a lot but come on. Just let me have this.

Cocoon Cardigans

There is something about slouchy sweaters that make it officially fall. All I want to do is wear maroon lipstick and write bad poetry when I wear them.

3/4 Sleeve Cocoon Cardigan

3/4 Sleeve Cocoon Cardigan

You canΒ alsoΒ rock this piece with leggings and combat boots.

Waffle Knit Cardigan

Waffle Knit Cardigan

I love how this is styled here, the perfect accent to a monochrome base.

Olive Cocoon Cardigan

Olive Cocoon Cardigan

It says “one size fits all” but don’t worry. I actually own this! It’s still drapey on a size 16/18.

Melissa McCarthy Cocoon Cardigan

Melissa McCarthy Cocoon Cardigan

How comfy-looking is this? Ugh. I can smell the chai tea and wood fire.

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I was recently very effectively target marketed by Amazon with a Facebook ad for an amazing shirt dress. I was aware that Amazon did have plus size retailers but I never really looked into it because 1.) digging sucks and I avoid it as much as possible and 2.) I assumed most things would be fugly. Honestly, I was right about that one. Most plus size clothes I found were pretty bad. But I was still able go find a few gems and thought I would round them up for you all who are restocking for spring. Here are eight plus size Amazon finds you might love or just want to buy for me because I’m broke. No? K.

Carolbar 3D Suspender Shirt Dress

Carolbar Women's Plus Size 3D Suspender Skirt Printed T Shirt Dress

OK like right? Like I need this. Ever since I saw Kill Bill and Elle Driver’s amazing illustrated-style coat (you ‘member, don’t lie), I have been in love with this style but rarely encounter it.

Doublju Sleeveless Peplum Top

Doublju Sleeveless Solid & Printed Peplum Top

I really do need more peplums in my life. Not super crazy about strappy tops but also a nut for dark florals so it evens out. Would love to pair this fucker with some ripped white jeans. Grunge brunch in Portland, anyone?

Lalagen Romper Maxi Dress

Lalagen Women's Floral 3/4 Sleeve Deep V Neck Plus Size Romper Maxi Dress

Now this is a silhouette I have been eyeing for some time. I also love big ass florals like this that are almost abstract.

Strappy Cami Swing Top

Womens Printed Plus Size Strappy Cami Swing Vest Top

The crushing realization that I got rid of alllll my camis ughhhh. I know I never wore them because it was rarely hot enough but I could have saved at least one! Come on!

Pyramid Polka Dot Ruffle Dress

Pyramid Women's Polka Dot Ruffle Off shoulder Long Sleeves Plus Size Dress

Now that I don’t give a fuck about showing VBO, I’m still into bodycons even though I know they are tired AF. However, I also love a ruffle and a polka dot so I do need this.

Meaneor Swing Leopard Dress

Meaneor Women Plus Size 3/4 Sleeve Scoop Neck Loose Swing Leopard Dress

I do have a leopard dress. However, it is a maxi with a keyhole and not the best for casual settings. I mean head-to-toe leopard isn’t something most people would call casual in any cut but you know me. No fucks.

Doublju Flounce Mini Dress

Doublju Flounce Off-the-shoulder Bodycon Mini Dress

I have a top JUST LIKE THIS. See this is how they get me. I need a top, bodysuit, pant, Β skirt, dress and romper in the same color and fabric so I have all the options because I’m just a spoiled betch.

Chuanqi Letter Printed Shirt

Chuanqi Women's Sexy Letter Printed Loose Casual Tank Top Plus Size L-5XL Shirt

Because it’s not officially true until I wear it on a shirt.

Shopping Linkies:

Carolbar 3D Suspender Shirt Dress | Amazon
Doublju Printed Peplum Top | Amazon
Lalagen Romper Maxi Dress | Amazon
Strappy Cami Swing Top | Amazon
Pyramid Polka Dot Ruffle Dress | Amazon
Meaneor Swing Leopard Dress | Amazon
Doublju Flounce Bodycon Mini Dress | Amazon
Chuanqi Letter Printed Top | Amazon